


Words Don't Come Easy

by g_odalisque13



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, F/F, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Girl Band, Idols, Korean Entertainment Industry, Lesbian Sex, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:43:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_odalisque13/pseuds/g_odalisque13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Baekhee debuted in one of South Korea's most promising new girl groups, she didn't imagine that she'd end up having sex with one of her band mates. It just kind of...happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words Don't Come Easy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the third round of [Nabisonyeo](http://girlexochange.livejournal.com/) and originally posted [here](http://girlexochange.livejournal.com/39521.html).
> 
> Read on [LJ](http://g-odalisque13.livejournal.com/96636.html).

Baekhee collapsed into bed, limbs leaden and eyelids giving up on staying open before her head had even hit the pillow. It had been a long day of interviews, rehearsals, performances, and radio show appearances, and Baekhee was ready to sleep for eighteen hours straight. Unfortunately, she had to be up in five for a variety show followed by a fan signing followed by...she couldn’t remember, but there were definitely at least two more things scheduled for tomorrow.

When she was as tired as she was, she sometimes wished she had decided to be a shop keeper or something. At least then she’d be able to keep regular hours. But singing and performing had been her dream since she was a little girl, and she knew how lucky she was to have gotten the opportunity to see her dreams come true.

Just over a year prior, she had debuted with five other girls in a group called EXO, and Baekhee was grateful that the public had shown a lot of interest in them. Even if that meant more schedules and more appearances. But it was certainly better than wasting away in some basement somewhere, waiting to be given the chance to sing on stage.

Furthermore, she knew she was even luckier to have ended up with a group of girls whom she actually liked. Of course they all had bad days, but the fact that Baekhee enjoyed spending time with all of the members was huge. 

But for as much as she trusted them, there were certain things that she didn’t yet feel comfortable sharing. 

One in particular. 

It wasn't some horrible secret or anything. She wasn't married to a goat. She hadn't committed murder. She didn't have a tail...though that could have been interesting.

Baekhee was bi. She'd had a few boyfriends and she'd dated a girl for half a year in college. It wasn't actually a big deal. But Baekhee knew that it could be. If the media got wind...it definitely _would_ be.

It wasn't the media that Baekhee was most apprehensive about, however. Tabloids could be paid off. Her bandmates' opinions about her, though...if that went to shit, there wasn't really anything to be done. 

None of the girls seemed to be the type to hate someone for their sexuality, but that didn't mean that none of them would be uncomfortable knowing that Baekhee liked women and had seen all of them in various states of undress. 

The country's view of people who identified as something other than straight was certainly better than it had been ten years ago, but Korea still had quite a ways to go, and Baekhee wasn't brave enough to chance her relationship with her bandmates just yet.

Not all of them, anyway.

Even though she had no problem taking part in a conversation about whether or not so and so actor from whatever drama was handsome, she still felt weird that she was hiding a part of herself from her friends and housemates. 

One night after a celebratory dinner to wrap up their first round of promotions, Baekhee had had enough soju in her belly to get a little reckless. 

When they'd gotten back to their dorm and she and Chanyeon, her roommate and arguably her closest friend among the members, had retired to their room for the night, Baekhee had started rambling and hadn't stopped until she'd blurted out that she'd had a girlfriend for six months. 

"I thought you thought that Jonghyun oppa was hot?" Chanyeon had asked around a yawn, kicking her socks off and nearly managing to fling one onto her desk. 

"I do," Baekhee had confirmed. "I like boys, too."

"Oh," Chanyeon had squinted at her across the few feet that separated their beds, not being able to see well without her glasses or contacts, and then she'd shrugged. "I knew some girls who dated girls in college."

When Chanyeon had fallen asleep mere seconds later and then given her a reassuring smile and pat on the back the next morning, Baekhee breathed a figurative sigh of relief. But she wasn't so naive as to think that everyone would be as relaxed as Chanyeon about it. She'd chosen Chanyeon to tell for a reason. 

One day, Baekhee told herself, she'd tell all of them the truth. One day.

Until then, she had a lot to be thankful for. 

She also had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

 

\---

 

Naturally, the bonds between certain members were stronger than others. Even though they all got along, it was impossible that some girls wouldn't end up closer than others.

Perhaps due to that fact, their manager decided that they were going to draw straws when they went overseas for a performance to decide who would room together in the hotel.

Baekhee had no issue with that. As long as she got to sleep, that was all she cared about.

Okay, and honestly, she would prefer someone not Junhee just because...Junhee was a slob. 

Despite that, she was also one of the members whom Baekhee felt closest to. 

Maybe it was because she was the second oldest, but Baekhee found herself instinctively stepping up if Junhee was in need of some extra help. When their maknae had gotten hurt during a performance, Baekhee had taken over the role as leader when Junhee stepped away to talk with the medic- assuring the crowd that everything was okay and corralling the members off the stage when it was time for the next group to come out. Junhee's grateful smile had had Baekhee's chest feeling warm, glad she'd been able to help. 

Even in the dorm when there were no fans or staff to see them, Junhee sometimes turned to Baekhee when she was trying to work out how to deal with certain situations, and Baekhee was always happy to lend an ear and some support.

Not to mention how much fun she had teasing her unnie who either got adorably flustered or suddenly no-nonsense. Both results entertained Baekhee immensely. 

So even though Baekhee loved her...she didn't want to find out how quickly a hotel room could start to look like the room Junhee shared with their maknae where the floor was only barely visible. 

“So, we're...literally drawing straws,” Kyungsoon, the other main vocalist aside from Baekhee, observed when their manager procured a bundle of six straws from his bag.

There were a lot of top groups staying at that hotel, and there they were- drawing straws in the lobby.

Sehee whined and covered her face with her hands.

“Just hurry up and you can go to your rooms,” their manager told them, and Kyungsoon obligingly drew a straw despite her skepticism.

It was hard to gauge how close she and Kyungsoon were because while Kyungsoon didn't tend to seek Baekhee out, she didn't really seek _anyone_ out. For as cherubic as her face made her appear to be, she was prickly on the inside, and Baekhee liked her all the more for it. Kyunsgoon liked Baekhee too. She just also didn't hesitate to let Baekhee know when she was being obnoxious, which was a lot of the time, to be fair. 

Baekhee drew a straw next.

“Mine is tiny,” she said, poking Sehee in the arm with it and laughing when she complained. 

Sehee, their maknae, lived up to her role well, right down to the whining she did when she insisted that she wasn't _that_ much younger than the second youngest member. 

Despite the solid ten centimeters Sehee had on Baekhee, she never hesitated to sidle up to her when she wanted some attention, cuddles, or money for a snack. Baekhee quite liked indulging her, and in turn, directed much of her physical affection toward Sehee, on and off stage. 

“One of the rooms only has one bed instead of two, so whoever gets the other small straw will share a bed with you,” their manager explained.

Baekhee shrugged. As long as she could sleep soon, that was all she cared about.

When Chanyeon pulled a long straw, Sehee snorted. “At least it won't be Chanyeon unnie sharing a bed. Her limbs are too unwieldy.”

“Hey,” Chanyeon protested, “my limbs are just fine. I would make a wonderful bed partner.”

In the end, Sehee ended up with the other long straw and had Chanyeon flapping her arms in her face as she demonstrated her supposed unwieldy limbs, and Jungah got the other smallest straw so she was to share a bed with Baekhee. That was just fine with Baekhee. Jungah was probably the deepest sleeper of all of them.

Jungah, their second youngest member, lead dancer, and face of the group, was possibly the member that Baekhee would say she was the least close to. Not because she didn't like Jungah- she liked her a lot. But Jungah tended to keep to herself a lot- shyer than her stage persona would let on. She and Sehee were close since they were the same age, and Jungah seemed comfortable around Kyungsoon since they were roommates, but Chanyeon was even more at a loss for what to do with Jungah than Baekhee was. 

Baekhee thought that she and Jungah got along quite well, actually. Though Jungah didn't seek her out, she often listed against Baekhee's side when they were next to each other. Sometimes she'd rest her head on Baekhee's shoulder and doze off, which Baekhee found adorable and their manager found less so since it kept happening in public.

Moreover, Jungah always laughed at Baekhee's jokes- when she was conscious and paying attention, anyway- and that was something that ranked high when Baekhee looked at a person's character. Maybe she just liked the ego stroke that she was funny, but still. It was nice to know that Jungah enjoyed her humor. And seeing Jungah's face split into an unapologetic grin was nice too, even if that wasn’t likely to happen much that night given how much both of them valued their sleep.

 

\---

 

Baekhee was half watching some show she didn't understand due to the language it was in when Jungah finished up in the bathroom and joined her in the queen size bed.

“What's this about?” Jungah asked after a moment of frowning at the TV screen.

"Uh...I think that woman is mad at that guy because he brought her the wrong kind of tea?"

Jungah looked at her like she wasn't sure whether or not she should believe her.

"I don't know," Baekhee confessed on a laugh and Jungah snorted, snuggling down into the blankets and squirming closer to Baekhee.

Baekhee didn't mind being Jungah's human-sized plush to cuddle. A sleepy, soft Jungah attached to her was not something Baekhee had ever complained about. 

As they mindlessly watched the television, Baekhee ended up with her head tucked under Jungah's chin and Jungah's arm around her waist. She suspected that Jungah was already sleeping. 

She knew she should move to turn off the TV, but she was so comfortable and warm. In just a minute she'd...

Baekhee blinked her eyes open and saw a commercial for hair growth playing on the screen. She didn't know what time it was, but she knew she'd fallen asleep for at least a bit. Jungah was still wrapped around her like a living blanket, and it seemed like she was still asleep.

Reaching out with her right hand, Baekhee located the remote and pressed the power button before nudging it away. Her shoulder was starting to hurt from her position, so she wanted to shift just a little before she let herself doze off again or else she'd regret it in the morning. 

Carefully, so as not to wake Jungah, Baekhee lifted herself just slightly and tried to brace herself so she could turn without completely upsetting the arm Jungah still had around her. 

In her attempt to not peel herself completely away, she felt her lips brush against the warm skin of Jungah's neck as she turned and she froze.

The tension in Jungah's body was obvious as Baekhee lay still. Maybe Jungah hadn't been asleep after all. 

It seemed like it shouldn't have been a big deal. She should have just been able to apologize and turn over. Or maybe it didn't even warrant an apology. She hadn't kicked her or anything. But for some reason, Baekhee held still- barely even breathing- as she waited for the right course of action to occur to her.

Jungah was still stiff next to her, neck frozen at an angle that couldn't have been the most comfortable. It was like she was holding the exact position she had been in when Baekhee's lips had touched her neck, even though Baekhee had moved back a bit. 

If Jungah relaxed, she'd be a couple inches away- her neck no longer in danger of being accidentally assaulted by Baekhee's lips. As she held herself now, however, it would be easy for Baekhee to repeat her earlier accident.

It was with a jolt of adrenaline that Baekhee realized that it was as though Jungah was waiting for Baekhee to do it again.

Was she though? Baekhee couldn't trust her sleep addled brain to process the situation clearly.

Baekhee shifted slightly and Jungah's arm tightened around her waist, keeping her close.

She didn't know what came over her, but Baekhee found herself leaning forward just enough for her lips to lightly touch Jungah's throat again. If she'd really taken a moment to think it through, she'd have aborted the impulse. But at the contact, Jungah let out a trembling breath that vibrated its way straight from Baekhee's scalp to her toes.

With more purpose, she pressed her lips in a tentative kiss against the side of Jungah's neck.

“Unnie,” Jungah breathed out, as though she was helpless to stop the exhalation, and Baekhee was slammed with arousal so fast it made her head spin.

With Jungah's arm around her waist pulling her in and her gut simmering with heat, Baekhee let her lips drag up the column of Jungah's throat, enjoying the hitches in breathing she was causing.

“ _Unnie_ ,” Jungah said again, voice pleading.

Baekhee pressed her lips to Jungah's pulse, tongue teasing against the skin there. The moan that escaped Jungah's throat seemed to startle them both, Baekhee pausing for the first time since she'd rashly acted.

Jungah turned her head and their eyes locked. For a moment, Baekhee thought that Jungah was going to pull away, apologize for how she'd reacted to Baekhee's lips against her neck. But instead she found herself drowning in the inky darkness of Jungah's eyes- emanating all the desire she felt flowing through her. 

Coming to their senses and just going to sleep was what should have probably happened, but Baekhee didn't even hesitate to meet Jungah halfway when she eyed Baekhee's lips before leaning in.

Sparks erupted over her skin when their mouths met, dizzy with how much she suddenly wanted and by how fast this had all happened. 

Never had she imagined such a result when she and Jungah drew the short straws. Did Jungah even like girls? Baekhee felt a little stupid for even having that thought as Jungah sighed against her lips, fingers tightening where they gripped her side. It would appear that she did, even if she had never indicated anything regarding her interest in women before. Baekhee actually couldn't remember Jungah showing any particular interest in men either. 

But regardless of all of that, it was pretty clear that she was interested in Baekhee, at least right then, at that moment, by the way she eagerly parted her lips for Baekhee's tongue.

Baekhee hooked a hand around Jungah's neck, keeping her close and letting the kiss deepen. 

The feel of Jungah's tongue sliding against her own was so heady, and Baekhee couldn't even fully process the fact that this was _Jungah_ who was kissing her back so enthusiastically. But when she thought about it being Jungah, the same Jungah who snoozed through breakfast and then sent come hither looks to the camera when they performed, it had her want soaring even higher.

Kissing Jungah was so good. It might not have been the kiss with the most finesse or skill that she had ever taken part in, but it was one of the best. She felt like she would wither into nothing if she disconnected their mouths. Jungah was just so... Her plush lips, her warm hands, the soft hair at her nape where Baekhee was holding on- 

Baekhee pulled back just long enough to throw back the blankets and settle herself atop Jungah's hips, leaning back down and reconnecting their mouths. And this was good. This angle- Baekhee felt like she could kiss Jungah even more thoroughly like this.

Jungah groaned into Baekhee's mouth, hands tight on Baekhee's waist and palms against the bare skin of her hips where her shirt had ridden up. 

Every nerve felt electric, and Baekhee couldn't help her surprised gasp when Jungah's hands started moving further up- shirt bunching at her wrists.

Jungah paused when her palms were resting on Baekhee's ribcage, right underneath her breasts. Baekhee could feel the hesitation, could feel that Jungah was unsure if she should continue. 

Nipping lightly at Jungah's lip and doing her best to angle her chest toward Jungah's hands, Baekhee hoped she got her point across. 

When Jungah moved her hands up to cradle her breasts a few seconds later, Baekhee whined into Jungah's mouth- sucking on her tongue as Jungah rubbed across her nipples with her thumbs and made them stiffen so they dragged across her palms when she went back to gently kneading them.

Baekhee couldn't stop the way she rocked her hips down, body throbbing and begging for more contact, _more_. 

Even the slight friction she got from bumping against Jungah's hips had Baekhee trembling, and the way Jungah's pelvis kept tilting, futile as it was, let her know she wasn't alone. Jungah was just as worked up as she was. She was needing, too.

Baekhee scratched lightly along Jungah's ribs and the answering groan and full-body shudder had Baekhee pushing aside her last misgivings. 

She knew this was probably a bad idea, but it felt like they were past the point of no return. They'd come this far. There was no use in backing off now. They had already crossed the line. 

Trailing her fingers along the waistband of Jungah's sleep shorts, Baekhee paused. She wanted to give Jungah time to push her away if this wasn't what she wanted. If Jungah was thinking more clearly than she was, she might not want-

"Please, Baekhee," Jungah gasped between kisses, one of her hands leaving Baekhee's breast in order to wrap around Baekhee's wrist and urge her.

The lack of honorific had Baekhee’s blood heating. The fact that Jungah wanted her, was begging her-

Baekhee thought she might have moaned even louder than Jungah when she got her hand inside her underwear and brushed her fingers over Jungah's arousal. 

She was so slick against her fingertips, warm and wet and all for Baekhee.

Jungah strained her body toward Baekhee's touch, thighs splayed wide and breath huffing against Baekhee's lips. 

Teasing her fingers outside of Jungah's opening, Baekhee felt the way she was dripping for her. She wanted to draw it out, to feel every little pulse of Jungah's body against her fingers and hear every stuttering moan she could pull from her, but the way Jungah's face contorted with pleasure was too addictive. Baekhee couldn't bring herself to slow down, not when Jungah's mouth fell slack and her brows pinched so prettily.

Rubbing in earnest against her clit, Baekhee knew that she was never going to be able to watch one of their own music videos the same way ever again. Because she was never, ever going to forget the way Jungah looked when she came- clutching desperately at Baekhee's shoulders as she shook and shuddered for her.

Knowing what she did about Jungah, Baekhee half expected Jungah to fall asleep immediately- watching her chest heave as Baekhee wiped her fingers on the sheets.

But when she'd caught her breath, Jungah blinked blearily up at Baekhee before pulling her down by the back of her neck for a breathless kiss.

Baekhee was aching, craving any stimulation she could get, but she wasn't about to ask Jungah to take care of that for her. There was so much that Baekhee couldn't discern about what had transpired between them that she really had no idea of whether or not Jungah would even be interested in getting her off. Maybe her interest in girls wasn't enough for her to want to really touch another girl and make her come. Maybe-

As they kissed, Baekhee startled to feel Jungah's hand teasing over her belly, fingers tracing the top edge of her underwear where it met her skin.

“Is it oka-” Jungah started to ask, but Baekhee cut her off- already a step ahead of her.

“Please,” she said, rolling off Jungah to flop on her back- wriggling her panties down and kicking them off her foot before Jungah even fully turned.

Jungah raised her brows at Baekhee's enthusiasm, lips quirking in amusement before she pressed against Baekhee's side to kiss her as her hand slid around Baekhee's bare hip.

Her sleep shirt was rucked up enough that she was fully exposed should Jungah have wanted to look. But Jungah seemed intent to study her face when she stopped kissing Baekhee and let her hand drift between Baekhee's thighs to feel her arousal. 

Baekhee wasn't concerned about what Jungah saw, widening her thighs and gasping as Jungah experimentally dragged her fingers against her folds.

“ _Oh_ ,” Baekhee breathed, tilting her hips up into the touch and looking at Jungah with bleary eyes. She could feel her head getting light with pleasure already, and the concentrated look on Jungah's face- eyes focused on her face and lower lip clamped between her teeth- was only serving to undo her faster.

The moan that vibrated through her wasn't something she could help as Jungah stroked along her pussy, seeming to be noting what, specifically, had Baekhee jerking up against her hand and trembling against the sheets.

“Jungah,” Baekhee groaned, watching how Jungah almost seemed to shudder at the sound of her name on Baekhee's lips- voice wrecked.

Saying Jungah's name like that...it had Baekhee’s head spinning, too. 

“ _Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck_!”

Baekhee’s body surged once, twice, and then she was coming- pleasure buzzing through her and making her ears ring as Jungah worked her through it and then brought her down. 

Baekhee opened her eyes to see Jungah looking down at her slick fingers. 

“Just wipe them on the sheets,” Baekhee said around a yawn, trying to decide if it would be too much effort to get up to get fresh underwear from her suitcase. 

Jungah wrinkled her nose. “Is that what you did?”

“Mmhmm,” Baekhee hummed, wiggling her toes under the sheet.

“But...they probably still smell like…”

“You?” Baekhee offered, and Jungah’s cheeks colored.

Baekhee bit her lip against a grin.

“Okay, let’s go wash up then,” Baekhee said, forcing herself up and dragging Jungah by the wrist in the direction of the bathroom.

There was some jostling at the sink- hip bumping and shared giggles- but they washed their hands quickly to be able to crawl back in bed. 

Jungah didn’t hesitate to press her face against Baekhee’s shoulder when they had the covers over them again. Baekhee didn’t mind at all.

Even as sleep started to pull her under, Baekhee tried to wrap her mind around what had just happened. But despite all the unanswered questions she had, Baekhee drifted off with contentment settled heavy in her limbs. 

 

\---

 

It took a minute the next morning for Baekhee to realize that the night before hadn't been an amazing, vivid sex dream. Jungah was still wrapped around her, not seeming like she'd moved the entire night. Truthfully, Baekhee was a little stiff, but she was feeling too good to be bothered by that.

There was a little knot in the pit of her stomach, however. What now? What would Jungah think when she woke up? Would she regret it? 

Baekhee wished she could go back to sleep and prolong the feeling of having had good sex the night before a little longer, but she had to be ready to head to the venue for rehearsals in a half hour, so she forced herself to slide out from Jungah's hold to make her way to the bathroom.

When she returned from washing her face, brushing her teeth, and taming her sleep mussed hair with an elastic and some bobby pins, Jungah was still a lump under the covers.

"Time to get up," Baekhee murmured, gently patting the Jungah lump and feeling it move. "We have to leave in fifteen minutes."

The lump groaned, and Baekhee kept poking at it until Jungah's face appeared from under the covers- hair a mess, eyes squinting, and lips puffy. Baekhee couldn't help the way her lips quirked at how cute she looked.

"Up," she said again, jostling Jungah when she went to bury her face in her pillow again. "I don't want to face Junhee unnie's wrath, and I doubt you do either."

Jungah whined, but rolled herself to the edge of the mattress where she ungracefully slithered off the edge and onto her feet. 

Baekhee watched as Jungah made her way to the bathroom before she got dressed, dabbed a little concealer under her eyes and put on some mascara. Hopefully they wouldn't run into any fans that morning, but there was never any guarantee. 

Just when Baekhee was starting to get worried that Jungah had fallen asleep with her toothbrush in her mouth, Jungah emerged from the bathroom and stumbled to her suitcase to gather her practice clothes. 

Baekhee carefully averted her gaze while Jungah got changed- worried that Jungah would think she was checking her out now that she knew that Baekhee liked girls. Not that any such thing had been verbally expressed but...

At seven sharp, there was a knock at the door.

"We're going down to the van," Junhee called. "You better be awake!"

"We are!" Baekhee replied, seeing Jungah wince at her volume out of the corner of her eye. "We'll be down in just a second!"

"Okay!"

Baekhee turned to Jungah, who only looked mildly more awake than she had when she'd emerged from her cocoon of blankets. 

Their eyes caught and Jungah's cheeks turned pink, a quiet, nervous giggle escaping- voice throaty from sleep.

Baekhee felt her stomach twist and her heart jump, feeling like a kid with her first crush.

The answering chuckle she let out had Jungah looking at her, still seeming embarrassed, though not horrified. That was a relief.

Baekhee shot Jungah a smile, and felt herself relax when Jungah returned it.

"Ready?" she asked, pocketing her cell phone and grabbing for her bag. They couldn't just stand there and slowly sort out how to deal with the previous night. They had a schedule to adhere to and a leader who would not be pleased if they were late. 

Jungah nodded. 

Baekhee honestly didn't know what all of this meant- if anything- but at least it seemed like things were going to be fine. 

Jungah leaned on her on the elevator ride down, and Baekhee felt like it would be okay.

 

\---

 

If Baekhee had expected there to be some sort of tangible effect of that night, she would have been wrong. 

The ride to the venue that morning had been a little out of the ordinary with some more flushed cheeks and little moments of eye contact that served to remind them both of what they'd shared the night before, but by the time they were practicing on stage, the heady feelings were gone as they were both so focused on getting their choreography right and making sure they were in the right place at the right time that there was no time to fixate on what had happened.

After that, it was all too easy to fall into old routines. 

Back in their dorm, Baekhee was rooming with Chanyeon and Jungah was rooming with Kyungsoon, and it was like that night hadn't even happened. 

Jungah still didn't seek Baekhee out specifically, but she continued to laugh heartily at Baekhee's jokes and lean into her when they were near each other. She fell asleep against Baekhee's shoulder at an awards show, and was thoroughly scolded by their manager afterwards.

Everything was back to normal. 

Sometimes Baekhee thought of that night, whether when she was alone or when Jungah made a noise of enjoyment while eating or something and Baekhee's mind immediately jumped to some of the noises she'd caused Jungah to make. But it wasn't something that kept her from functioning around the other girl like a normal human. Or at least, as normal as she was capable of being. According to Kyungsoon, that wasn't very normal at all, but considering Kyungsoon was one of the weirdest fucking people she'd ever met, she wasn't offended.

Since Jungah never brought it up or sought her out or treated her any differently, Baekhee felt that it was safe to assume that they were just going to move on. It was just something that had happened and that was that. It wasn't going to happen again and it wasn't going to affect their lives. It was what it was. 

And that was fine. Baekhee was relieved that Jungah hadn't started acting skittish around her, like she was some sort of predator who might pounce at any moment. It would have been awful if Jungah felt too uncomfortable to be around her. And that awkward atmosphere would have gotten really old, really quickly considering the amount of time they had to spend together. 

So normal was good. Normal was perfect. 

Baekhee had no reason to believe that anything else out of the ordinary was going to transpire between her and Jungah.

But then they traveled out of the country again.

 

\---

 

"Please tell me we're not drawing straws again," Sehee pleaded, tired after a long flight and looking like she was ready to curl up on the couch in the lobby of the hotel. 

"You guys can choose," their manager told them, "but you have to choose someone who is not your regular roommate."

Sehee seemed relieved, but she rolled her eyes anyway. "You act like we need to bond. We're all bonded. We're together all the time," she grumbled.

"That's fine!" Chanyeon piped up. "Sehee and I started watching an anime on my computer last night. We can room together and watch more tonight."

"Okay," Sehee shrugged. "Now let's go. I'm tired."

"Are we doing the same as last time?" Junhee frowned. "Maybe we should switch. I could room with Baekhee, and-"

"Last time is fine," Baekhee quickly jumped in, wanting to avoiding tripping over Junhee's junk on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. "Let's not make a big production in the lobby trying to decide."

Sehee was in agreement because she was already walking toward the elevator, and it didn't take long for everyone else to follow suit. 

"If you want to shuffle for next time, let's plan ahead. Everyone is too tired now," Baekhee said to Junhee on the way up to the seventh floor. She felt bad for interrupting Junhee's suggestion. It was probably smart to just make her peace with having to room with Junhee at some point. Surely it couldn't be that bad. Sehee was fine. 

Fortunately, Junhee didn't seem perturbed. "You're right. We should have a system in place or something. I'll think about it for next time."

Not for the first time, Baekhee wondered how someone so organized could be so messy.

It wasn't until they were splitting up to go into their rooms that Baekhee realized that insisting that they room with the same person they did last time meant that she and Jungah were going to room together again. 

She hoped that Jungah didn't think she wanted to room with her again because she was expecting something to happen. 

Jungah didn't look concerned, though. She was just shoving her bag to the side of the room before flopping onto the bed closest to the door.

Two beds. 

This was just going to be a normal night in a hotel. Jungah appeared to feel that way as she fiddled with her phone and allowed Baekhee to use the bathroom first. 

Normal. Everything was normal as Baekhee took her shower, brushed her teeth, and climbed into bed. 

It was normal as she turned on some foreign movie that she'd seem with Korean subtitles before, so at least she knew what was happening. It was even normal when Jungah climbed into her bed with her instead of her own because watching TV with Jungah snuggled into her side was something that had happened countless times before when they ended up next to each other on the couch at the dorm. 

So even if having Jungah against her in bed made Baekhee think of last time this had happened and what it led to, she knew that this situation wasn't indicative of anything. This was just normal. Ordinary. Mundane, even.

Though undeniably nice

Baekhee was starting to get drowsy as the movie neared its end, limbs heavy and eyelids even heavier. She wasn't sure if she was going to make it to the credits. 

Jungah shifted at her side, re-positioning herself. Baekhee was surprised that the younger girl was still awake. She probably wouldn't be in a matter of minutes, honestly. It had been a really long day. 

But as Baekhee was starting to feel herself dozing off, the light touch of Jungah's fingers trailing over the inside of her wrist had her alert again. 

With a sleep-addled brain, Baekhee could only squint in confusion at her wrist as Jungah traced along her inner forearm, fingertips making her nerves spark. 

When Jungah's ministrations didn't cease, Baekhee looked over, pulse speeding to find Jungah's gaze on her. 

Jungah's eyes were liquid black as she focused on Baekhee's face, still teasing along Baekhee's sensitive skin. She didn't look like she was ready to fall asleep like Baekhee had assumed she would be. She was awake and studying Baekhee with purpose. A pleasant tingle made its way down Baekhee's spine.

There was a question in Jungah's eyes that Baekhee knew the answer to before she'd even registered what was being asked. 

The kiss was easy, instinctive, and Baekhee felt the moan she let out against Jungah's lips vibrate through her chest. She hadn't realized just how much she'd wanted, needed, to kiss Jungah again until she was. There was something so comfortable about it, warmth engulfing her and making her want to just get closer, but still it had arousal pooling between her legs immediately. 

Baekhee felt greedy as she grasped the back of Jungah's neck and sucked on her tongue, but the tremble that accompanied Jungah's gasp let her know that she wasn't the only one. 

Jungah slid her knee between Baekhee's thighs, and Baekhee shuddered at the friction against her core. She wanted so fucking badly. Jungah was driving her insane and they'd only just begun kissing.

Pulling away, Baekhee pressed her lips to Jungah's jaw, moving down her throat and along her neck until she could place an open mouthed kiss against her pulse point. Jungah jerked against her and Baekhee sucked lightly against the flesh before she could even think about what she was doing.

"No marks," Jungah gasped, pressing at Baekhee's shoulder. 

Baekhee immediately stopped, surveying the damp skin of Jungah's neck. 

"Sorry," she breathed, running her fingers over where her lips had been and enjoying the way Jungah even shook from that. "I think we're okay."

Jungah nodded and pulled Baekhee back down to reconnect their mouths, but Baekhee's mind was stuck on Jungah's smooth and unmarred skin.

The idea of marking her...it had her groaning around Jungah's tongue as she unabashedly rocked her hips against Jungah's thigh. 

Now that it had entered her mind, Baekhee couldn't stop thinking about leaving dark splotches all across Jungah's skin so that even when they left this room, Jungah would be wearing something that was a reminder that Baekhee had been there. 

She couldn't really do that, of course. If Jungah went on stage with a mark on her neck, the fans would take pictures and zoom in and theorize until they'd completely exhausted every possibility. When Kyungsoon had gotten burned with a curling iron, the fans had shared pictures of the burn mark for weeks, trying to guess who had left it.

But the idea of everyone, fans and fellow entertainers alike, seeing that Jungah had been marked by someone- by _Baekhee_ \- had Baekhee's head spinning with want. Even if it was just a fantasy, it still had her pressing down hard against Jungah's thigh. 

When Jungah’s lips pressed against her neck, Baekhee knew she wouldn't be leaving any evidence that her mouth had been there, either, but she couldn't help the whimper she let out at the first brush of lips. It was no secret that Baekhee had a sensitive neck, and she was actually a little surprised that Jungah hadn't used it against her last time. 

Head tilted back to give Jungah as much room to destroy her as possible, Baekhee blindly reached for Jungah's chest with her right hand. She wasn't wearing a bra, neither of them were, and Baekhee took advantage of that by tweaking her nipple through the soft cotton of her shirt.

Jungah was huffing out little moans against her throat, and Baekhee felt like Jungah must have been able to feel how wet she was against her thigh, even through her underwear. She was pulsing as she rocked against Jungah's leg, pussy clenching even with the somewhat unsatisfying contact. She needed more, but even just Jungah's lips against her neck and her thigh pressed against Baekhee's arousal could have gotten Baekhee off eventually. 

Baekhee didn't want eventually, though. And she could tell that Jungah didn't either. So she let go of Jungah's breast in order to start to nudge the waistband of her sleep shorts and underwear down. 

"Can I take these off?" Baekhee asked, voice breathy against Jungah's ear. 

Nodding, Jungah lifted her hips to help Baekhee get the fabric down- kicking it off and shoving it away with her feet under the covers. 

"Oh, unnie, _please_ ," she whimpered when Baekhee squirmed her fingers between Jungah's muscular thighs and pressed them against her slick folds. 

The breaths Jungah let out against the skin of her neck as she was fingered had Baekhee shivering and rubbing her own thighs together to try to get some friction where she needed it. She was positively aching by then, and Jungah's obvious enjoyment was only drawing her need higher.

"Let me," Jungah murmured, letting go of the tight grip she had on Baekhee's waist to slip under the elastic of Baekhee's underwear. 

Baekhee paused only long enough to help Jungah get her panties down her legs before she was stroking against the other girl again, sliding her middle finger inside of her and groaning at the wet warmth that tightened around her digit. 

Jungah moved with Baekhee's hand, working her hips at odds with Baekhee's motion to get her finger plunging further into her, and Baekhee thought she might pass out at how sexy it was to have Jungah humping against her hand like she was. 

But then Jungah's fingers were against her, sliding through the wetness that had accumulated between her thighs and slipping shallowly into her opening, and Baekhee nearly sobbed with how good it felt. 

Baekhee felt like she was liable to come embarrassingly quickly from how hot she'd gotten just rubbing against Jungah's thigh, so she was determined to make Jungah lose it even faster. 

Slipping her ring finger in alongside her middle finger, Baekhee pressed the heel of her palm to Jungah's clit, and swallowed her keen with her lips. 

It couldn't exactly be considered kissing, the way their mouth pressed sloppily around moans, but Baekhee still couldn't get enough as she widened her legs for Jungah's teasing and felt the way Jungah was rhythmically squeezing around her fingers. 

She wanted to feel Jungah orgasm for her again. She wanted to hear her moans and see her face and know that she had been the one who caused it. Just thinking about it had Baekhee's pleasure spiking and threatening to overtake her.

"Are you gonna come for me?" Baekhee rasped against Jungah's lips, feeling the shudder her words elicited. "Jungah. I want to feel you come on my fingers."

Jungah let out a sob against her mouth, body trembling and squeezing impossibly tight around Baekhee's fingers where they were buried inside of her. Head tossed back suddenly, Jungah wheezed her way through an orgasm against Baekhee's hand- brows pinched so much she looked like she was in pain and kiss swollen lips hanging open as she tried to breathe.

Baekhee's head was spinning as she worked her through it, her own pussy clenching against Jungah's shaking fingers and dangerously close to letting go.

Body going slack as she came down, Jungah buried her face against in Baekhee's neck- fingers flexing lightly against her still throbbing arousal. Baekhee pulled her fingers from between Jungah's legs and gripped Jungah's wrist to keep her hand where it was so she could move against it. She didn't even care that she was about to get off against a stationary hand. She just needed to get off. 

It was obvious when Jungah regained her bearings because her fingers started moving against Baekhee's core in earnest, and Baekhee let out a moan that was much louder than she'd intended. But she was just so close and Jungah's fingertips tapping out a rhythm against her clit felt so _good_ that Baekhee felt tears spring to her eyes. 

Almost, _almost_. 

With a full-body shudder, Baekhee choked on a whimper and came hard against Jungah's fingers. The pulses of pleasure that radiated through her only intensified as Jungah crooned her name into her skin, ministrations not letting up until Baekhee had ridden out two crests that left her wrung out and buzzing with leftover sensitivity. 

Baekhee whined when she caught her breath enough to do so.

"Holy _fuck_ ," she breathed, curling up and trying to calm down.

Jungah hummed in agreement, nosing along her temple before sitting up.

"Hand washing?" she tentatively proposed, and Baekhee grumbled, but allowed herself to be hauled from bed and steered toward the bathroom. 

Unfortunately, Jungah had redressed her lower half before the journey. Though the fact that she was all flustered that Baekhee had not was pretty cute. 

Baekhee didn't question it when Jungah crawled into bed with her again after they'd washed up instead of going to her own bed. She definitely didn't mind the company. 

Though as she drifted off, she was even more confused than before. 

 

\---

 

The morning after their most recent rendezvous in a hotel went much like the first time had: getting ready, Jungah being reluctant to get out of bed, sharing a few knowing smiles, and Junhee banging on the door.

So Baekhee had felt pretty confident that things would go back to normal, much as they had the last time. 

She was partially right.

They still didn't talk about what had happened...twice, and they didn't directly acknowledge it. Even though sometimes Baekhee wanted to be like _hey, so you know how we've slept together? Twice? Any thoughts on that or...?_ But she didn't because clearly Jungah didn't want to talk about it, and that was fine. They didn't _have_ to talk about it, even though Baekhee was still pretty clueless as to what Jungah thought about the whole thing.

But little things changed. And only because Baekhee was paying particular attention did she notice them.

When they were out to eat, Jungah seemed to be intentionally choosing to sit next to Baekhee instead of Sehee or Kyungsoon, laughter at Baekhee's jokes even louder when it was right next to her ear and her thigh pressing against Baekhee's under the table. 

Usually, Sehee, Jungah, and Kyungsoon would sit in the back of the van since they were the youngest, Baekhee and Chanyeon would sit in the middle, and Junhee would sit in the passenger seat. But one evening on their way home from filming for a music show, Jungah latched her hand around Baekhee's wrist and pulled her toward the back seat. 

"Sit with me," Jungah had said when Baekhee looked at her in surprise.

"I call Baekhee unnie's seat!" Sehee eagerly announced, sliding into the middle row of the van before turning around to stick her tongue out at Baekhee.

Kyungsoon had sighed and put her earbuds in. 

Another time, they had had to pick a partner for some silly game on a variety show. Typically, Jungah would have partnered up with Sehee and Baekhee would have been partners with Chanyeon (partially because they were close, and partially because the fans liked them together). However, Jungah had been at Baekhee's side before Baekhee could even move in Chanyeon's direction. Sehee had seemed a little put out before she'd latched onto Kyungsoon happily.

Baekhee had been surprised when she'd felt Jungah wrap her arms around her from behind when they were between takes on a music show. Was this for the fans? She felt kind of stupid for wondering that considering the fans had no idea what kind of things had transpired between them. But maybe Jungah was taking a cue from Chanyeon and branching out to show affection to all of the members. 

Though that didn't explain why she'd latched onto Baekhee from behind again later that night when they were in the elevator. Or why she'd followed Baekhee to the couch and snoozed with her head on Baekhee's shoulder when she could have just gone straight to bed.

There was a chance that this was all a coincidence and that Baekhee was reading too much into things. Would she have been thinking so hard about all of this had she and Jungah not gotten each other off twice? Probably not. But the fact of the matter was that they _had_ , so she was pretty sure she wasn't crazy for wondering what all of this attention from Jungah meant.

The smart thing to do would probably have been to talk to Jungah about it. Baekhee knew that. But she also knew that if she brought it up with Jungah, all of it might stop. And though Baekhee didn't know what it meant, she knew that she didn't want it to stop. She liked Jungah seeking her out more. She liked the cuddles and the affection. She liked the sex, too, but that was a different issue entirely. 

So, because she was afraid she'd spook Jungah if she asked her what was going on between them, she did the less smart thing and cornered Chanyeon.

"Have you noticed Jungah acting differently?" Baekhee asked Chanyeon on a rare afternoon that they were free. They were in their room with the door shut and Jungah was out of the dorm, but Baekhee still took care to keep her voice down.

Chanyeon's brow furrowed almost comically as she thought about Baekhee's question.

"She _has_ been hanging around you more than usual," Chanyeon said after a minute of contemplation. "Is that what you mean?"

Baekhee nodded, feeling validated that at least someone else had noticed Jungah's change in behavior.

"Dude, I'm jealous!" Chanyeon went on with a laugh. "She still acts like she's mildly alarmed by my general existence."

"I don't think she's alarmed by you," Baekhee said, the reassurance hollow only because she was too busy thinking about whether or not she should confide in Chanyeon further. 

"Are you bothered by her wanting to be around you?" Chanyeon asked, eyes big as she studied Baekhee's face. 

"No! No. Of course not," Baekhee told her. "I'm just...wondering...why?"

Chanyeon frowned. "Why she's been making a point to be near you?"

Baekhee nodded, feeling her nerves amp up. Her concern made no sense out of context. If she really wanted Chanyeon's take on the situation, she was going to have to explain everything. And that...she really didn't know if that was a good idea. 

"Maybe she's just opening up more," Chanyeon theorized, unaware of how much more complicated the situation was than what met the eye. "She's pretty shy, so I guess it's just taken her until now to get to the point where-"

"Wehadsex," Baekhee blurted out, heart beating wildly against her ribs and hands trembling. 

Chanyeon stopped talking and blinked at her, clearly not having heard or comprehended what Baekhee had said. 

Baekhee took a deep breath. "The last two times we shared a hotel room. Jungah and I...had sex."

Chanyeon was still staring at her, eyes as wide as Baekhee had ever seen them. "With each other?" she finally said, and Baekhee would have laughed if she hadn't been so nervous about what Chanyeon would think of her.

She nodded.

When Chanyeon didn't immediately follow up with anything, Baekhee jumped in with the first thing she could think of.

"It was an accident!"

Chanyeon looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "How can you accidentally have sex with someone?"

That was a fair question.

"It just...it wasn't planned," Baekhee tried again, though that sounded just as ridiculous. "I mean, we didn't talk about it before or after. Either time."

"You didn't talk about it at all?" Chanyeon asked, disbelieving.

Baekhee shook her head. 

"Jungah likes girls?" she asked then.

"I guess so?"

Chanyeon stared into space for another nerve wracking minute before asking, "What does this mean?"

"I don't know!" Baekhee wailed. "I have no idea and now she's being all...and I don't know!"

They were quiet for another couple of minutes before Chanyeon sighed. 

"I wish I could give you some advice or something, but I've never accidentally slept with a band mate before so..." she chuckled.

Baekhee snorted out a laugh, relieved that she was joking about it instead of looking at Baekhee like she was horrible.

But then she thought of a new worry.

"You can't tell anyone!" she told Chanyeon, even though she suspected that Chanyeon already knew that.

"I won't," Chanyeon assured her. "I mean, Junhee unnie would kill you if she knew."

Baekhee felt her stomach swoop with nerves. "I know. I-"

"Specifically _you_ ," Chanyeon continued, cutting Baekhee off. "Not Jungah. You."

Baekhee huffed, but she knew Chanyeon was right. Junhee would not be happy, and as the older of the two of them, this rested on Baekhee's shoulders. She was supposed to be the _responsible_ one.

With a whimper that was partially fear of Junhee's wrath and partially frustration at not knowing where she and Jungah stood, Baekhee flopped over on her bed.

"Don't worry," Chanyeon said, sitting down next to her and patting her shoulder. "She probably won't _actually_ kill you. That would be way too hard to explain to the media."

Baekhee whined and covered her head with her pillow.

 

\---

 

“Okay, so I was thinking that we could rotate,” Junhee was saying to a group of tired faces as they waited for the elevator in the hotel they were staying in in Japan. “We can start out by age, so Jungah and Sehee would room together, Kyungsoon and Chanyeon, and Baekhee and I, and then next time we-”

“I wanna room with Baekhee unnie,” Jungah uncharacteristically interrupted. Just a moment prior, she'd looked nearly asleep as she leaned against Sehee, but now she was alert and demanding things.

Baekhee felt like she'd swallowed her tongue at Jungah's request. It was unlike Jungah not to just go with the flow in regards to something like this. But here she was, stating explicitly that she wanted to room with Baekhee.

Heart suddenly thumping, Baekhee shrugged helplessly when Junhee seemed to look to her for support in her rotating plan.

“Yeah, Chanyeon unnie and I have only have two episodes left to watch, so we were gonna watch them tonight,” Sehee added.

“But…” Junhee looked around, frustrated, “I have a system!”

“Maybe next time?” Baekhee offered apologetically when the girls all started filing onto the elevator.

Junhee was grumbling under her breath, but Baekhee was too aware of Jungah's eyes on her to be of much help in reassuring Junhee that she would help her implement her system next time.

She felt bad. Normally she'd have jumped in and told everyone to just go with whatever Junhee had come up with. But...Jungah wanted to room with her.

Jungah wanted to room with her and Baekhee had no idea what that meant, but she sure as hell wanted to find out.

Her hands were nearly trembling in anticipation when she slid the key card into the slot and let them into their room.

She'd only just pushed the door closed behind Jungah's suitcase when Jungah's hands were on her waist and Jungah was crowding her against the closed door.

Baekhee let herself be pressed against the hard surface as Jungah's lips found hers, everything so sudden that she couldn't catch her breath.

“I couldn't stop thinking about this,” Jungah confessed, breath hot against Baekhee's spit slick lips, and Baekhee only managed an answering whine before surging forward to kiss Jungah deeper.

This wasn't like the other times, Baekhee thought as she and Jungah clumsily made their way to the closest bed without separating. There was no normalcy to fall back on this time. There was no happenstance. This was entirely purposeful and that in itself was heady.

Baekhee climbed on top of Jungah when she sat on the bed and scooted up so she was propped up against the pillows.

The fact that Jungah had so boldly initiated everything had Baekhee pushing aside the caution that she'd held close the two previous times they'd been together. There was no doubt in Baekhee’s mind that Jungah wanted this as much as she did, so she didn't intend to hold back.

Sliding her hands under Jungah's t-shirt, Baekhee cupped her through her bra and pulled the cups down so she could rub her thumbs against Jungah's peaked nipples. The moan that resounded into her mouth just spurred Baekhee on.

Sucking harshly on Jungah's tongue and making her arch into her, Baekhee pulled back with a wet smack before dipping her head to place open mouthed kisses against Jungah’s neck and collarbones.

She shoved Jungah's shirt up so it bunched under her armpits and took her time nosing between the dip of her breasts and teasing her tongue against both nipples.

Jungah squirmed against the bed, sounds spilling from her lips as Baekhee kissed down her stomach.

In an ideal world, Baekhee would be able to run her lips over every inch of the girl splayed before her. She'd have all the time she wanted to explore and find every little spot that made Jungah gasp. But she was impatient- they both were- and whether or not she'd have the opportunity to do this again was still something she didn't know.

So when Jungah squeezed her shoulders with desperate hands, she nipped lightly above the waistband of Jungah's jeans.

With the way Jungah’s hips kept tilting up, toward her mouth, Baekhee knew that Jungah wanted the same thing Baekhee did

“Are you clean?” Baekhee asked, pulling back and feeling a jolt of arousal at how wrecked Jungah looked already- eyes glassy, cheeks flushed, a wet trail leading down her belly from Baekhee's mouth.

“Huh?” Jungah breathed, looking at her like she had spoken Japanese instead of Korean. Or maybe like she had ceased the use of language altogether. 

“Do you have any STD’S or anything?” Baekhee clarified, popping open the button on Jungah's jeans.

“No!” Jungah was quick to assure her, shaking her head frantically and lifting her hips to help Baekhee work her pants down her legs. 

Baekhee kissed along Jungah's inner thigh, enjoying the smooth skin against her lips and the slight give despite the firmness of the muscle. 

"I'm clean," Jungah reiterated even though Baekhee hadn't needed to be convinced that she was telling the truth. "I've never- you're the only-"

Surprised, Baekhee pulled away to look Jungah in the eye, though Jungah's gaze was off and to the side, lower lip clamped between her teeth.

"You'd never...?"

Jungah shook her head slowly. "I've made out with people before," she offered. "There was a guy... he just... over my underwear. I hadn't..."

Baekhee hadn't had any idea of what Jungah's romantic or sexual history was. It wasn't something that Jungah offered up, and Baekhee hadn't ever wanted to pry. Even though Baekhee was perfectly comfortable loudly lamenting about an ex boyfriend who had been much more concerned with his pleasure than hers. 

But to know that she was the first to touch Jungah like that...she was torn between wishing she'd have been able to make her first time better than she had and feeling a possessive satisfaction at the knowledge that she was the only one lucky enough to have had the opportunity to kneel between Jungah's spread thighs like she was. 

"This is okay?" she asked, needing to make sure. She didn't want Jungah thinking that she had to go along just because Baekhee was older or more experienced or-

"Yes," was Jungah's immediate and emphatic answer. "I'm the one who jumped on you as soon as the door closed," she added on an embarrassed giggle that had Baekhee crawling up her body to press a sweet kiss to her lips before she took her place back between Jungah's legs again.

Starting on the other leg, Baekhee dragged her lips from Jungah's knee to the swell of her inner thigh, right below where her thigh met her groin. 

Jungah was letting out little noises with every kiss Baekhee pressed to her skin, and Baekhee just wanted her to feel amazing.

With the scent of Jungah's arousal clouding her mind, Baekhee latched her lips to Jungah's inner thigh and sucked, drawing against the skin and feeling the way Jungah trembled before she pulled back to admire the bruise that was already forming.

Jungah looked down and frowned. "Unnie!" she complained, pulling the skin on her thigh so she could better see the mark,

"No one will see," Baekhee soothed, tracing against the splotchy edges reverently with her fingertips. "All of your stage costumes have been pants lately." 

No one would see, but Baekhee would know it was there. Jungah would see it when she changed her clothes or took a shower. Maybe she'd even feel it when the inseam of her jeans pressed against the skin. Baekhee liked that thought.

Jungah relaxed back against the pillows, satisfied by Baekhee's reasoning. 

As much fun as leaving a hickey on Jungah's thigh had been, Baekhee had bigger plans. 

She could smell how turned on Jungah was, and there was a noticeable dark stain on the crotch of Jungah's heather grey, cotton underwear. Baekhee was helpless to do anything but press her mouth and nose to the damp fabric, mouthing at her through the material and inhaling her scent.

Jungah cried out in surprise at the sudden contact, pressing up against Baekhee's face.

"Can I?" Baekhee asked, fingers already hooked around the waistband.

"Please," Jungah breathed, hips rocking up in search of contact.

Baekhee pulled Jungah's panties down and let her kick them off her foot before she was back between her legs with her palms against her inner thighs to hold them open.

Jungah squirmed a little, seeming a bit embarrassed to be so exposed, but Baekhee didn't want her to feel like that. She wanted her to be so focused on how good she felt that she forgot everything else. 

So before Jungah could get too self conscious, Baekhee dipped her head and pressed a light kiss right above her clit. Jungah jerked, body pulsing for Baekhee to see.

Running her tongue lightly against Jungah's folds, Baekhee moaned at the taste of her and how wet she really was. Her tongue wiggled along the length of her, hands still resting against trembling thighs. 

Jungah moaned as Baekhee laved against her wetness, the musky taste clinging to the back of her tongue and making her want to lick her clean.

It wasn't long before Jungah's hands were on the back of Baekhee's head, fingers tangling in her hair and scraping against her scalp as she held Baekhee where she wanted her.

Her muscles vibrated where Baekhee held her thighs open, and her body was straining against Baekhee's mouth- so swollen, wet, needing.

Baekhee took one palm off Jungah's leg to slip a finger into her, crooking it as she thrashed her tongue against her throbbing clit.

“ _Bakehee_!” Jungah nearly squealed before letting out a broken moan as she convulsed against the bed and came on Baekhee's mouth.

Working her through it, Baekhee enjoyed the way Jungah throbbed against her even as she came down- aftershocks making her jerking and tremble.

When Jungah finally relaxed against the mattress, Baekhee sat up to stretch her back and neck, licking the slick off her lips and feeling her own want flare.

Jungah blinked up at her, lashes wet, from where she was pliantly sprawled on the bed- thighs open and no longer concerned about modesty.

Baekhee scooted up to lay next to her, pressing soft kisses to her jaw.

Turning her head, Jungah caught her lips in a kiss that was gentle but still stoked the flames in Baekhee's abdomen. 

Baekhee clutched the back of Jungah's neck as the kiss deepened, glad that Jungah didn't seem bothered by own taste clinging to Baekhee's tongue.

Warm hand making its way under Baekhee’s skirt, Jungah rolled so she could brace herself over Baekhee's body, fingers pressing against her through her tights.

Shuddering at the much needed contact, Baekhee lifted her hips and shoved at the waistband of her tights, grateful when Jungah helped her to push them down along with her underwear.

Baekhee didn't mind the way Jungah's eyes raked over her lower half as she bent her knees and shimmied her skirt up so it wasn't in the way.

Pressing a hand to the back of one of Baekhee's thighs to keep her leg up, Jungah used her other to drag along Baekhee's slick folds, making Baekhee arch up and instinctively hold her other leg to her chest.

Jungah was watching what she was doing as she pressed a finger into Baekhee's entrance, dark eyes concentrated and movements precise. 

Just like the decisive way Jungah had announced that she'd wanted to room with Baekhee, nothing about Jungah's exploration of her body right then felt accidental or like a sort of convenience that they'd fallen into. This was purposeful and thorough, and Baekhee groaned at the focused attention Jungah was paying to her.

With the way Jungah was taking in the movement of her finger in and out of Baekhee's clenching channel, it was obvious that she was fully invested in Baekhee, and Baekhee alone, in that moment.

But for as much as she was enjoying Jungah's rapt attention at every pulse and twitch of her body, she needed more. She was aching for some friction against her clit, and she just needed Jungah to go _faster_ before she lost her mind. 

" _Jungah_ ," she pleaded, pulling Jungah's focused stare from her pussy to her face. "I need to come. _Please_." 

Jungah shivered at her words, her hand stuttering in its movements. But then she pressed her forearm across the backs of both of Baekhee's thighs to keep them up and spread, and she increased the pace of her fingers into Baekhees entrance, making Baekhee wheeze at the sudden onslaught of pleasure.

Baekhee's toes were clenching and flexing in the air when Jungah asked her to hold her own legs up to her chest, suddenly rubbing two fingers from her other hand against Baekhee's clit and making her squeal.

The jolts of pleasure radiating out from where Jungah was touching her were sharp and insistent with the dull, fuzzy edge of orgasm hovering right behind. 

She was right on the precipice of release, feet tingling and breath coming fast.

Watching Jungah lick her full lips as she intently took in what her fingers were doing, Baekhee felt the ball of pleasure in her belly give and explode- a drawn out moan leaving her as she came against Jungah's hands and felt the splash of liquid against the bedding.

That was something she'd only ever done once when she'd given herself a really good orgasm with the help of a vibrating dildo. But she couldn't fixate on that as another wave of pleasure crashed over her and had her ears ringing as she rode it out.

Jungah was looking at the wet spot on the blanket when Baekhee cracked her eyes open and slowly stretched out her legs. 

"Good thing we have two beds," Baekhee said when Jungah looked up to meet her eyes.

Chuckling, Jungah flopped down next to Baekhee on the bed, scooting in to kiss her

Secretly, Baekhee was happy for the excuse to share a bed. She'd found that she quite liked falling asleep with Jungah cuddled against her. 

Since they had to get up to shower still, there was the chance that Jungah would have just gone to her own bed afterwards. 

But now that wasn't an option. 

It was a happy accident, Baekhee thought, as she let Jungah bury her face in her neck. 

But she couldn't help the niggling thoughts that she had no idea when they would have the opportunity to do this again.

 

\---

 

Baekhee whined out loud when her alarm went off the next morning, resisting the obnoxious trilling until she couldn't stand it and she forced herself to roll over to silence it. 

Jungah was shifting when Baekhee flopped back against the pillows, nuzzling against the side of Baekhee's face when she was close enough.

They didn't really have time to be languishing in bed, but Baekhee couldn't bring herself to move when Jungah was so warm against her side.

She could have stayed like that for days.

“We hafta get up,” Baekhee mumbled a minute or two later, chuckling at the sound of displeasure that was pressed into her jaw.

“Five more minutes,” was muffled against her neck.

“You can stay in bed for another five,” Baekhee allowed, smiling fondly, “but I'm gonna get up and use the bathroom.”

Whining, Jungah clutched Baekhee's middle to keep her from moving.

“ _Jungah_ ,” Baekhee laughed, moving her shoulder a little to try to get Jungah remove her head from where it was wedged between Baekhee's shoulder and jaw.

Finally Jungah raised her head and blinked at Baekhee sleepily, face puffy with marks from the pillowcase on her cheek.

Baekhee's heart clenched with how adorable she was.

“I'm gonna get up,” Baekhee reiterated, as much to remind herself as Jungah.

Pouting, Jungah reached out a hand and curled it around the back of Baekhee's neck. Her movements were sleep logged, but her grip was firm.

“Stay,” Jungah petulantly mumbled, pulling Baekhee forward and pressing a soft, prolonged kiss to her lips.

She hadn't been expecting it, freezing for a split second before she let herself melt into the kiss.

“I'll be back to make sure you get up,” Baekhee promised after letting Jungah’s lips press to hers a few more times.

Finally, Jungah acquiesced, loosening her grip on Baekhee's neck and letting her climb from the warm bed and make her way to the bathroom.

But Baekhee was in a daze as she brushed her teeth, heart pounding too hard for barely six in the morning.

Somehow, one kiss had managed to throw her off more than three rounds of sex.

What now?

 

\---

 

“Can I wear a pair of tights?”

The low request was urgent and Baekhee looked up from the game on her phone to see what was going on.

They were backstage at a music show to promote their latest single- a bouncy electronic track that tread the line between sexy and playful- and Baekhee’s hair and makeup had already been finished. She'd considered napping, but she always found it hard to get into performance mode when she was still half asleep. 

When she looked over, Jungah was tugging at a pair of leather shorts self-consciously and pleading with one of their stylists quietly.

Why did she so desperately want tights? Jungah had never been particularly shy about her body. She'd performed in short shorts and crop tops before with no problem. Why-?

Suddenly, the reason why Jungah was pulling at the miniscule inseam of the shorts dawned on her and Baekhee found herself sitting up straighter in her seat, craning her neck to get a better look.

And there it was- the purple-ish red splotch noticeable on Jungah's skin even three days later.

Baekhee squeezed her own thighs together as she felt heat start to pool low in her belly at the very visible proof of what she and Jungah had done.

“Why do you need tights?” the stylist, Seungwan, asked- just as perplexed as Baekhee had initially been. “Why can’t you- what is _that_?”

Jungah frantically shushed her, but the exchange had already garnered the interest of Chanyeon.

“Is that a hickey?” Seungwan hissed, looking far too intrigued as she tried to get Jungah to move her hand so she could see better. “Who’s it from?”

“Nothing. No one. I...hit my leg against the corner of a table,” Jungah said, cheeks flushed and a hand fully covering the mark now that Kyungsoon had looked over.

It was by the grace of some deity that Junhee was busy talking to their manager about their schedule later that day or else she'd have thrown a fit. Even luckier was that Sehee was asleep on the couch in their dressing room. There was no doubt that she would have pestered Jungah about it until Jungah told her what it was from. Or rather, whom.

Seungwan snorted and arched a brow, as though to wordlessly ask Jungah just how dumb she thought she was.

“You hit your leg against a table with lips?” she challenged, and Jungah’s blush deepened. 

“It's nothing,” she insisted. “You can't tell anyone! Especially Junhee unnie!”

“You must really think I'm an idiot,” Seungwan said. “Of course I won't tell Junhee.”

Jungah let out a relieved breath. But then her gaze snapped over to Kyungsoon and Chanyeon in turn.

“I don't care how many tables you want to run into,” Kyungsoon told her blandly, just the slightest glint of amusement in her eye. “As long as you don't bring any of those tables into our room.”

Shaking her head, Jungah looked to Chanyeon with anxious eyes.

Chanyeon held her hands up in surrender and Jungah seemed to finally relax, looking even more relieved when Seungwan handed her a pair of thick tights.

Jungah's eyes briefly caught Baekhee's before she turned away to change into the tights without anyone else trying to get a look at her hickey.

But when Baekhee turned back toward the mirror, Chanyeon was looking at her with wide eyes.

It wasn’t hard to see the _was that seriously from you?_ question in Chanyeon’s expression.

Baekhee's lips quirked in response.

Chanyeon’s eyes grew even larger. 

Baekhee felt a satisfying warmth flood her chest at the knowledge that it was _her_ mark that Jungah wore, and one other person, aside from Jungah and herself, knew about it. And even more had seen it, though they hadn’t known that Baekhee was the culprit. 

“It’s from Taemin, isn’t it?” Seungwan whispered to Jungah later when she was rolling up the cuffs of Jungah’s shirt, referring to Jungah’s friend in a senior boy group.

Baekhee pretended that she was fixing her shoe in order to stay within earshot.

“It’s nothing,” Jungah insisted, and Baekhee peered through the curtain of her hair to see Jungah blushing and looking away.

Even though she was feeling proud and a little puffed up, she couldn’t help the guilt that coiled in her stomach at how embarrassed Jungah clearly was by the situation. She really hadn’t meant for anyone to see it when she’d left it. Jungah really _had_ been being styled in pants for this round of promotions up until then.

“Okay, but if Taemin was theoretically a table that you ran into…” Seungwan pressed.

“He’s not a table,” Jungah grumbled, looking like she wanted the floor to swallow her up. “It’s not from him.”

They were called to wait off to the side of the stage, then, so Jungah didn’t have to answer any more questions from Seungwan. 

Baekhee knew that Chanyeon wouldn’t pester Jungah since she knew the origin of the mark, and Kyungsoon had a very _live and let live_ philosophy, that was often synonymous with _leave me alone and I won’t have to kill you_. So as long as Jungah’s hickey didn’t interfere with Kyungsoon’s everyday life, she probably wouldn’t give it a second thought. 

Still. Baekhee felt bad that Jungah had had to deal with the consequences of something _Baekhee_ had done, while Baekhee just got to sit there and watch it all play out. That wasn’t fair.

She owed Jungah an apology. 

As Baekhee stood in the wings, she felt arms snake around her waist and a warm body press against her back.

Nerves tingling, Baekhee knew that it was Jungah, and she leaned back just slightly, hands coming up to overlap Jungah's on her abdomen.

Jungah was silent, but Baekhee was glad that she didn't seem to be angry at her.

“I'm sorry about before,” Baekhee spoke softly after a moment. “Sorry you got hassled.”

“That was so embarrassing,” Jungah quietly whined, arms tightening around Baekhee's ribs.

“I'm sorry,” Baekhee said again, fingertips running over the backs of Jungah's hands.

“At least Junhee unnie didn't overhear,” Jungah pointed out, and Baekhee huffed out a chuckle in agreement.

It was nice to stand like that, Jungah pressed against and wrapped around her.

Fondness welling up in her chest, Baekhee lifted Jungah's arm up and pressed a tender kiss to the inside of her wrist.

Jungah shivered lightly, curling tighter around her momentarily before she tilted her arm so she could see the place where Baekhee had kissed.

There was a dark pink smudge where her lips had been.

“Unnie,” Jungah complained, laughing all the same as she tried to wipe the lipstick away with the fingers of her other hand, arms still around Baekhee's middle.

“That was an accident, I swear,” Baekhee told her, eyes crinkling as she chuckled. “Is my makeup okay still?”

Jungah craned her neck to look as Baekhee turned her head.

Baekhee was struck by how easy it would be to turn just a little more and catch Jungah's lips in a kiss.

“It's fine,” Jungah told her, and leaned her chin on Baekhee's shoulder as she settled in to wait for their turn to perform.

Even though it had been unintentional, if Baekhee saw a slight pink mark on Jungah's wrist when she watched their performance back, she wasn't going to complain.

 

\---

 

Baekhee looked up from her computer when Chanyeon stepped into their room and closed the door behind her, sitting on her bed but looking at Baekhee like she wanted to say something.

“Yes?” Baekhee asked, amused lilt to her voice that felt flat when she saw her serious Chanyeon was.

“What are you doing?” she asked, brows pinched with worry.

Baekhee blinked. “Checking my email…?”

Chanyeon frowned like Baekhee was being obtuse on purpose. And while it was something she might do if Chanyeon didn't look so no-nonsense, she really didn't know what Chanyeon was referring to.

When Baekhee continued to stare at her blanky, Chanyeon sighed. “What are you and Jungah doing?”

 _Oh_. She should have been able to figure out what Chanyeon was talking about.

Unfortunately, she didn't have an answer for her.

Baekhee shrugged, feeling small under Chanyeon's stare- like she was being interrogated by an authority figure or something.

“I honestly...don't know,” Baekhee told her, withering when Chanyeon looked at her like she'd done something wrong. “We still haven't talked about it.”

“Still?” Chanyeon demanded, brows raised.

Baekhee shrugged again. “ _You_ know that Jungah isn't the easiest person to talk to about what she's feeling,” she defended.

“Yeah, but I'd give it a shot if I was sleeping with her,” Chanyeon reasoned.

Baekhee didn't have any argument for that.

She also wasn't used to having Chanyeon looking at her sternly, wanting answers that Baekhee didn't have.

“If you're gonna keep...doing what you're doing, you have to figure out what it is that you're doing,” Chanyeon told her. “Junhee unnie is going to find out. Or someone outside of the group is going to find out and _then_ unnie is gonna find out. You need a plan. At the very least, you have to be more careful. Today-”

“I know,” Baekhee interrupted, feeling sick to her stomach with how true Chanyeon's words were. Right now, they were playing with fire with no aim. Was it even worth it? 

“I mean, is it just physical or…?”

Baekhee opened her mouth to say that she had no clue. Jungah certainly hadn't ever said anything along the lines of wanting more. But all the little touches. The extra smiles. That kiss the morning after…

“I...don't know,” Baekhee said, because she didn't. But she…

“Do you want it to be?” Chanyeon asked, tone more gentle.

Baekhee swallowed down a swell of...something in her chest.

“I don't know,” she said, but it felt a little like a lie.

“You need to figure out what you want,” Chanyeon told her, authoritative, but with an undercurrent of tenderness. 

Baekhee didn’t know if she appreciated the understanding or if she wished she wasn’t so easy to read. She was supposed to be strong and unflappable. She needed to be the one any of the girls could turn to if the needed it, even Junhee. 

“Yeah,” Baekhee agreed, not able- or wanting- to elaborate.

“Figure out what your aim is,” Chanyeon reiterated, “and then talk to Jungah. And if it comes to it, Junhee unnie too.”

Anxiety filled Baekhee’s chest at what Chanyeon was saying. Mostly because she was right. 

She nodded, shifting in her desk chair and looking down at her sock-covered feet when she couldn’t hold Chanyeon’s gaze any longer. 

“You’ll figure it out,” Chanyeon said, getting up from the bed and shooting Baekhee a smile when she looked up.

Baekhee wasn’t so sure, not when there were so many factors that were at play, but she let her lips turn up in response, grateful for Chanyeon’s understanding through all of this. Her acceptance and support was above and beyond what Baekhee would have even predicted. 

As Chanyeon left their room to find someone to play video games with, Baekhee had a heavy decision weighing on her shoulders- a few, actually- that affected more than just her.

When had this gotten so complicated? For as much as she had tried to convince herself initially, it had been complicated from the very start- from the moment her lips accidentally brushed against Jungah’s neck. Maybe even before.

If she continued to pretend that there was nothing to acknowledge, she was going to bury herself underneath a bunch of things she didn’t know how to confront. 

Unless she wanted to do irreparable damage to the group, and quite possibly herself, she needed to face this head on. 

 

\---

 

Baekhee watched Jungah run through the choreography across the practice room, admiring the easy way the steps seemed to pour out of her body- moving as though she'd been born to do this very dance, even though that was how she looked doing any dance. 

The first time Baekhee had seen Jungah, the younger girl had been dancing in a practice room. Baekhee had peered in through the window in the door, and been breathless. Also a little intimidated. She'd felt pretty good about how she'd danced in her class earlier, but she was nothing compared to this girl.

When she'd formally met Jungah a couple of months later with the knowledge that there was a good chance that they'd both end up in the girl group the company was planning to debut, she'd wondered if this could possibly be the same girl she'd seen dancing before. Gone was the charismatic gaze that Baekhee had seen reflected in the mirror. Gone was the confidence that had seemed to emanate from Jungah's entire being as she danced, from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes. Instead, the girl in front of her looked like she wanted to shrink into herself, all nervous downcast eyes and a soft, timid introduction. It wasn't long before Baekhee found that that was just the way Jungah was; she could command a room when she was dancing, but she tried to blend into the background when she wasn't.

Over time, Jungah began to come out of her shell a bit. She got more comfortable around Baekhee and the other girls who were chosen for the group, and some of that confidence that radiated from her when she performed sometimes made its way into her daily interactions. It was with fondness that Baekhee laughed at a joke Jungah had confidently told, even though the joke made not an ounce of sense and wasn't even funny. 

In retrospect, Baekhee could acknowledge that she had always had a soft spot for the younger girl. Though, of course, she hadn't ever expected her fondness to land her where she was now- wondering what she and Jungah had and whether or not it was simply physical. 

No, it was safe to say that on that first day, Baekhee hadn’t thought that she'd end up having sex with Jungah. Even if she'd particularly enjoyed the way she moved her hips.

How Jungah always managed to add a little extra thrust to her hips in moves that didn't even require it was something Baekhee didn't understand, but would never complain about.

"...right, Baekhee?"

Baekhee snapped her attention away from Jungah and her sinuous body rolls at the sound of her name. 

Kyungsoon was looking at her expectantly. 

"Um...what?" Baekhee asked sheepishly, not having any idea what the other girl had just said.

Kyungsoon sighed, eyes going flat with annoyance at Baekhee's obvious lack of focus.

"Are you even with us today?" she asked, large eyes boring into Baekhee's.

"Of course!" Baekhee assured her with a laugh, trying to break the awkward atmosphere. "I was _so_ here that I didn't even hear what you said. Now _that_ is what you call focus!"

Kyungsoon blinked at her, unimpressed. 

"I said that we can't go to dinner tonight because we have extra vocal lessons," she told her.

Baekhee wrinkled her nose when she remembered. They were preparing for the repackage of their most recent album, and one of the new songs was a duet with her and Kyungsoon. So they had a few extra vocal lessons before they were set to record. Getting to do a duet with Kyungsoon that was meant to show off their voices was awesome. Having to miss dinner was not. 

"We'll bring back leftovers," Junhee told them before she turned away to call to Jungah that it was time to go.

Chanyeon gave her a pat on the shoulder as she walked past on her way out. "Sorry, bro."

Baekhee was about to start moaning about how she wanted pork too, but she felt a warm hand circle her wrist before sliding down to interlace their fingers, stopping the complaints from leaving her lips.

Jungah was at her side- lips curved up in a sympathetic smile. "We'll bring you something back," she promised, eyes shining with sincerity. 

Warmth bloomed in Baekhee's chest as she nodded, smiling back and squeezing Jungah's hand in her own. She didn't tell Jungah that Junhee had already told them that.

"Jungah," Sehee called from the doorway. "Come on! I'm hungry."

Jungah grinned sheepishly at her before she trotted to catch up with the other girls, phantom warmth from her hand still lingering.

"Let's go," Kyungsoon said, hefting her bag over her shoulder and gesturing for Baekhee to follow her to their voice instructor's room.

Reluctantly, Baekhee grabbed her bag and started after her.

It had been two days since Chanyeon had advised Baekhee to figure out what she wanted. It had been two days since Baekhee had been able to think of anything other than that. 

There were two questions that kept turning themselves over and over in Baekhee's mind.

Was Jungah only interested in her as a way to get off or did she want more?

And...

What did Baekhee want?

One of those questions couldn't be answered by Baekhee. But the other could _only_ be answered by her.

When Chanyeon had asked her if she wanted something beyond just the physical with Jungah, Baekhee had said she didn't know.

That was partially true. 

On one hand, it was undeniable how much she had been enjoying all of the extra affection from Jungah. 

The day before, they'd been on a radio show, and Jungah had claimed the seat next to Baekhee. Throughout the broadcast, Jungah had rested her hand on Baekhee's thigh under the table- a comforting warmth that had Baekhee grinning even more widely than usual as she answered the standard questions that were thrown at them. 

It was such a nice feeling to be getting her makeup done in their dressing room backstage at a show and to look up to catch Jungah's eyes in the mirror. Just sharing a smile gave her a boost of energy that carried through their performance. 

Even just having Jungah grab her hand while they waited on stage for the winner of that week’s broadcast to be announced had Baekhee feeling just as happy as she did when they were announced as the winners. 

There wasn't a part of her that could ignore how every little interaction with Jungah had her whole body feeling warm. 

But they weren't just two friends who might be developing feelings for one another. They were idols. They were idols who were both girls. They were idols who were both girls and who were members of the same group. 

Baekhee wasn't sure she could have come up with a more complicated and delicate scenario if she'd tried. 

There was a part of her that said it wasn't worth it to even think about pursuing. What would happen if they dated and broke up? 

But then again, if they decided right now that they were going to forget anything had ever happened between them, things were bound to be awkward. They'd already come too far for there to be no repercussions. 

As she had thought about what she wanted, she couldn't stop imagining what it would be like if she and Jungah decided to give this thing they had a real try. 

Being able to wake up with Jungah wrapped around her. Being able to watch her blink past sleep as she woke up, to share a sweet, good morning kiss...

Of course she was interested in more sex, but not just that. Being able to beautifully destroy Jungah with her hands and mouth while letting herself feel fully... She wanted to be able to look into Jungah's eyes and feel that connection that she hadn't completely let herself explore previously. 

The thought of being able to just go up to Jungah and kiss her, to feel her smile against her lips...Baekhee was embarrassed to acknowledge that just thinking of that gave her butterflies in her stomach.

Conversely, the idea of Jungah dating someone else had Baekhee's stomach clenching. Remembering Seungwan thinking that the mark on Jungah's thigh had been from Taemin had her bristling. 

Baekhee was confident that Taemin, though she didn't know him well, wouldn't be as good to Jungah as she would. He wouldn't be as attentive as Baekhee. He couldn't be there for Jungah when she was going through something like Baekhee would. He wouldn't know when Jungah needed to be alone and when to step in to comfort her. And what if he wasn't able to show Jungah just how wonderful she was? Could he make her feel loved and cherished?

It was with stomach twisting clarity that Baekhee realized just how far gone she was already. She may have been acting like she was thinking things over and weighing the pros and the cons, but she had made up her mind before Chanyeon had even finished talking. She'd made up her mind the first time she'd kissed Jungah.

Taking a deep breath, Baekhee tried to calm her pounding heart. Their vocal instructor would be there any minute and then Baekhee would have to focus on hitting that high not in the bridge and not on the smile Jungah had given her as they'd filed out the door that morning. 

Fortunately Kyungsoon, across the room and on her phone, hadn't noticed that Baekhee was having a mild breakdown right there in the practice room. 

Baekhee knew that there was a very good chance that Jungah wouldn't want anything more than what they had now. She knew there was an even better chance that even considering it was completely insane. But Baekhee knew that she had to at least see if it was something that Jungah wanted. And if it was...they'd figure it out. Maybe it was too risky. Maybe it was irresponsible. But Baekhee knew that what she was feeling...it wasn't something she could just shut off. It wasn't something she wanted to just disregard.

Another deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth, and Baekhee had made up her mind. She was going to talk to Jungah. As soon as she could get her alone, she was going to talk to her and see what she wanted. Even if Baekhee got rejected, it would be worth it. She'd shake it off and she and Jungah could remain friends with no hard feelings. But she had to know. 

She had to try. 

 

\---

 

When Kyungsoon announced that she was going to head to the practice room to go over their dance on their afternoon off, Baekhee was on the edge of her seat waiting for her to actually leave. Because with Kyungsoon out of the dorm, she and Jungah could have a private conversation in Jungah's room with less of a fear of getting interrupted. 

Though, to be fair, with three other girls remaining, the risk was always there.

So when Kyungsoon stepped out, Baekhee was almost immediately on her feet, making her way over to where Jungah was sprawled on the couch, watching Chanyeon and Sehee play some car racing game. 

"Can we go talk in your room?" Baekhee asked quietly, close to Jungah's ear.

Chanyeon's loud _whoop_ as she passed Sehee in the game insured that only Jungah had heard her.

Jungah's eyes were wide, startled, when they met hers, but she nodded, getting up and following Baekhee into the empty room.

The _click_ of the door behind them had Baekhee's heart rate speeding up.

"So, we should probably talk," Baekhee started, sitting down on Jungah's bed and feeling the dip of the mattress when Jungah joined her.

Jungah looked nervous, but she nodded in agreement, fingers twisting in her loose t-shirt as she waited for Baekhee to continue.

"We should probably talk about what's...going on between us," Baekhee said, though she felt that the introduction was unnecessary. Of course that's what they needed to talk about. "I mean, I don't really know where you are or how you feel about any of it."

Jungah nodded again, more slowly this time as though she was thinking even as she agreed.

Baekhee could see the tension in Jungah's frame. As her unnie, she felt that she should maybe say her piece first. She didn't want to put Jungah on the spot. Besides, if she didn't say it soon, she might never say it at all.

"Like I said," Baekhee jumped in before the silence could stretch too long, "I don't know where you are with everything, but I know where I am."

She took a breath, watching Jungah prepare herself for Baekhee's words. Was she afraid that Baekhee was going to tell her it meant nothing? Was she afraid that Baekhee wanted more than she was willing to give?

"This was never a situation that I thought we'd be in," Baekhee confessed. "It just kind of _happened_. But since it's been a few months since the first time, I've had time to really think about it. And...I really like you."

Jungah's eyes were still wide as they took her in, expression neither more horrified or more relieved. 

Was that a good sign? Bad? At least Jungah hadn’t run out screaming. Or more realistically, at least she hadn’t cringed at what Baekhee was saying. As much as Baekhee would have loved for Jungah to have immediately jumped in and returned the sentiment, she knew she should probably elaborate. 

With a steadying breath, Baekhee continued on.

"Obviously the sex was good...really good. And I wouldn't mind that happening again. But also...I don't know if it's been you or me or if it's been consciously or not but...it seems like there's been something more between us lately? I like that. I don't want to lose that. But if you don't want anything more than what's happening now, that's fine. No hard feelings or anything. We can still be friends and it doesn't have to get weird."

Stopping herself, Baekhee tried to figure out what Jungah was thinking. 

She looked thoughtful, so that didn’t give away what she was feeling. Baekhee tried to remind herself to keep breathing as she waited for Jungah to respond, shaking fingers holding on tight to her own thighs.

"Are you-" Jungah started before she stopped and looked down, thinking. "When you say you like me...like, you want to keep doing what we're doing or you want..."

Jungah bit her lip, shyly looking at Baekhee from the corner of her eye.

"Maybe this is nuts," Baekhee hedged, stomach turning nervously, "but I want to give this thing between us a real shot. I want you to be my girlfriend?"

Baekhee felt adrenaline shoot through her body as she said those words- ears burning and heart thumping as she waited for Jungah to reply.

"I know it's probably not the smartest idea since we're idols and girls and in the same group and all, but-"

"I want that too," Jungah rushed to say, a pretty pink flush spreading over the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks. 

Baekhee smiled, relief washing over her as she let out a giddy laugh when she couldn't come up with the right words.

"Geez," she finally chuckled, flopping back on the bed and covering her grinning face with her hands. 

"You thought I'd say no?" Jungah asked, prying her hands away from her face gently by her wrists. 

"I had no idea what you'd say," Baekhee admitted, trying to get her body to calm down now that the confessing part was over. "I mean, we'd never talked about it, and you never said anything to imply that you wanted more than just sex or..."

"I didn't say anything," Jungah agreed, lips pulled to the side in thought, "but I thought surely you knew?"

"How should I have known?" Baekhee laughed, sitting back up to look at Jungah properly. 

"I just thought it was pretty obvious that I liked you?" Jungah explained. "I mean, I've liked you for a long time."

Baekhee's eyes widened in surprise. "You have? How long?"

Jungah blushed, looking at her lap before she met Baekhee's eyes again.

"I dunno..." she hedged, chewing on her lower lip nervously. "I guess since around when we debuted?"

Gaping, Baekhee didn't know what to say. 

"That's almost two years!" she finally sputtered, disbelieving.

Jungah shrugged sheepishly. 

"Did you even know I liked girls?" Baekhee asked, which was dumb since it wasn't like she'd known that Jungah did.

"I'd hoped?" she said, still looking embarrassed.

And because she could, Baekhee leaned over and pressed a quick and sweet kiss to her kips. 

Jungah looked just as giddy as Baekhee felt when she pulled back.

But for as heady and exciting as this was- this rush of feelings and the knowledge that they were returned- they had other things they needed to discuss. This wasn't as simple as just the two of them.

"So, we're gonna have to figure out how we're gonna do this," Baekhee said, hating to bring the atmosphere down, but knowing that it was too important to ignore. 

Jungah sobered, nodding.

"We don't have to tell everyone just yet," Baekhee began. "Our members, I mean. We should see how this goes first. There's no need to sound alarm bells if we decide that we aren't compatible."

Baekhee didn't see that happening, but it was still a possibility.

"But we have to talk to Junhee unnie," Baekhee went on, stomach tightening at just the idea of having to tell their leader that she'd been fucking their almost maknae. "She'd be less likely to kill us- me- if we tell her before she finds out on her own."

Jungah nodded again, looking just as terrified as Baekhee felt. 

"What if she forbids it?" Jungah wondered, brow furrowed in worry. 

Baekhee put a comforting hand on her knee.

"No doubt she won't be happy," Baekhee allowed, "but I don't think she'll tell us that we can't. I mean, she can't _actually_ enforce that. And she wants up to be happy. You know that."

"Yeah, but..." Jungah worried her lower lip between her teeth.

"I know," Baekhee commiserated. "She's going to be stressed the fuck out. I...don't expect a good reaction. But it's still better if we tell her."

"Yeah," Jungah agreed on a sigh, laying her head against Baekhee's shoulder and scooting into her.

"And we're going to have to be so careful," Baekhee went on, interlacing her fingers with Jungah's and feeling her nerves settle a little. "We're always going to have to be aware of who's around so we don't get caught. And I promise I won't leave any more hickeys on you."

Jungah snorted out a laugh smacking Baekhee on the thigh with her free hand.

Making a big fuss about Jungah hitting her, Baekhee happily accepted the apologetic kiss that Jungah pressed to her lips. 

"Kyungsoon unnie is gonna be out of the dorm next weekend," Jungah announced after a comfortable moment of silence. 

"Oh yeah?" Baekhee asked, mind already taking off at the possibilities.

"Maybe you can sleep in here?" Jungah suggested hopefully.

Baekhee smirked. "Depends what you mean by _sleep_."

That earned her another smack, but Baekhee was too busy laughing against Jungah's mouth to feel it.

 

\---

 

With Chanyeon's help, Baekhee was able to get Junhee alone so she and Jungah could talk to her. Kyungsoon was out again, so as long as Chanyeon could keep Sehee occupied, they were golden.

Though the worry of getting interrupted by one of the members was far less than Baekhee's worry that Junhee would leap across the room to strangle her when she found out about Baekhee's and Jungah's relationship.

It had been two weeks since they'd decided to make it official, and though much of that time had been spent feeling fluttery and giddy with their new relationship (not to mention the night they got to spend together in Jungah's room while Kyungsoon stayed with a friend- muffling moans in pillows and giggling into each others mouths to know that they were getting away with something), there was still an undercurrent of unease knowing that a conversation with their leader was on the horizon. 

Junhee's brows were already drawn down in exaggerated worry when they sat her down at the kitchen table.

"What's going on?" she demanded, knowing that it must be something if they were the ones saying that they needed to talk. Usually it was Junhee trying to get them to have group discussions and bond while they all whined and asked to put it off so they could sleep.

"It's not bad," Baekhee hedged, not sure whether or not Junhee was going to agree with that statement after she heard what they had to say. "We just thought that we should tell you since you're our leader and you should know."

"You are not comforting me in any way right now," Junhee informed her. "Just tell me whatever it is that you need to."

Baekhee nodded, gathering her courage. 

Jungah's hand on her thigh under the table was at least some comfort as she tried not to wither under Junhee's no-nonsense stare. 

"For the past few weeks," Baekhee started, stomach churning with nerves, "...months...officially, weeks..."

Junhee was becoming visibly impatient, so Baekhee pushed forward.

"Anyway, recently Jungah and I...we're dating," she finally just blurted out, watching Junhee's face as she absorbed the information.

"Both of you?" she asked, looking a bit troubled. "Who? Are they idols? Does anyone know?"

Baekhee felt another wave of anxiety wash over her. Junhee hadn't understood what she'd just told her.

"No, that's not what I meant," Baekhee said, bracing herself for Junhee's reaction to what she was actually saying. "Jungah and I are dating...each other."

The realization took a second to settle over her, but when it did, she looked shocked enough that Baekhee might as well have told her that the two of them were each half sea urchin and that hearing the sound of a toilet flushing would cause them to start to transform. 

Baekhee wondered if maybe she should have confessed to that instead to lighten to the mood.

"Are you serious?" she gaped, eyes wide as she looked back and forth between them.

Jungah was holding on tight to Baekhee's thigh under the table. 

"Yes?" Baekhee told her, internally scolding herself for letting that be a question. "Yes. I'm serious."

"How..." Junhee's head looked like it was about to explode, and Baekhee felt bad for causing their poor leader even more stress. "How did I not know about this?"

"How could you have?" Baekhee countered, wanting to be reassuring, but Junhee seemed to be only half listening to her.

"How could this happen?" she demanded, appearing a little like she was asking herself that question. "How-?"

Junhee finally looked over at them again, panic in her eyes.

"No one told me what to do in this situation!" she told them. "What to do if your members start dating some other celebrity? Yes. But _each other_?"

Junhee ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. 

“I am so not prepared for this,” she muttered to herself and Baekhee felt a pang of sympathy. 

Looking down at the table, Junhee took a moment to gather herself before she looked back up at them, seeming a little bit calmer. 

"So, this is something that you guys are serious about?" Junhee asked, eyes traveling back and forth between them.

"Yes," Baekhee answered, quickly looking over at Jungah to make sure that was an okay response. They hadn't said _I love you_ to each other yet, so maybe serious wouldn't be a word that Jungah would use. But Jungah nodded in agreement, fingers fumbling for Baekhee's under the table as her cheeks reddened. 

Baekhee felt her stomach flip.

"How long has this been going on?" Junhee asked then, all business now that she'd gotten over the initial shock.

"Well, we've been officially dating for two weeks," she told her, continuing to answer the questions in Jungah's stead since she was the older of the two and because she knew Jungah was terrified of what Junhee was going to say. "But I guess this has been going on for a few months...since that first time we shared a hotel room."

Realization settled over Junhee's features as she seemed to remember the fact that they'd roomed together the past three times they'd stayed in a hotel. Then her eyes hardened as she looked at Baekhee, apparently able to imply what could have happened when they had a room to themselves.

Baekhee shrunk back in her seat. 

"Baekhee," Junhee said warningly, eyes narrowed.

"I-"

"Unnie," Jungah said, interrupting Baekhee to address Junhee. "I- I started it."

Truthfully, Baekhee didn't know whether their first time had been more influenced by her or Jungah. They’d been pretty equally into it- both eager and willing.

“That’s not important, Jungah,” Junhee said. “Baekhee is your unnie and she should know bett-”

“No,” Jungah argued, shocking both Baekhee and Junhee, if the gobsmacked look on her face was anything to go by. “I’m an adult, and I wanted it. I wanted Baekhee unnie. I-”

Jungah cut herself off when she seemed to realize how overtly she was talking about sex with their leader.

Junhee looked a little embarrassed to be hearing about it.

Baekhee, meanwhile, was touched that Jungah had jumped in to defend her so stubbornly. She squeezed Jungah’s hand in thanks under the table. 

Looking up at the ceiling, Junhee looked like she was seeking strength from some deity even though she was an atheist. Maybe hearing about two of her members having sex was scarring enough that she was changing her beliefs.

After a moment, she looked back at them.

“Okay,” she said, not sounding quite as authoritative as she had a moment ago, though she was still stern. “Maybe pointing fingers and focusing on the semantics isn’t the right way to go. I’m still not happy about this. Surely, I don’t need to go through all of the ways that this can damage the group.”

She raised her eyebrows expectantly, and Baekhee and Jungah shook their heads. They knew.

“I can’t tell you guys not to do this because obviously...I can’t actually stop you. And knowing both of you, I know that this must be important to you if you’re willing to run the risk that comes with being in a relationship.”

Junhee exhaled, massaging her forehead for a second before she continued.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said, voice measured and gaze strong as she looked back and forth between them. “I may be the leader, but I can’t actually control what you do, so I can only implore you to _please be extremely careful_. If this got out, you know we’re ruined. The company can’t know because they actually _could_ stop you from pursuing it.”

“Yes, unnie,” Jungah murmured, sounding chastised. Though her grip was still strong on Baekhee’s hand. Baekhee hoped that that meant that Junhee’s warnings weren’t going to make her change her mind. 

Junhee nodded, satisfied that they were taking it seriously.

She sighed.

“I don’t want to be an asshole,” she confessed, sounding tired. “Don’t think that I’m not happy for you. It’s just...well, it’s a lot to take in, first of all. And I have to do my job to protect this group, you two included.”

“We know,” Baekhee assured her, feeling a weight release off her shoulders at the assurance that Junhee’s negativity was coming from concern for the group and not from the fact that they were two girls. If that made her uncomfortable at all...at least she wasn’t horrified. 

“I’m sorry to cause you stress, unnie,” Jungah added, and Junhee smiled gently at her.

She always had had a soft spot for Jungah.

“What else is new,” Junhee joked weakly. “Is that all?” 

“Unless you want to hear about how I’m part sea urchin…”

Junhee snorted out a laugh and swatted at Baekhee over the table. “Get out of here.”

Baekhee got up and pulled Jungah with her, glad she’d been able to make Junhee laugh, but also knowing that she probably needed some time alone to gather her thoughts. 

“That could have been worse?” Jungah observed when they stepped into the living room, vacant because Chanyeon was getting Sehee hooked on some new TV show in Baekhee’s and Chanyeon’s room.

“It could have been a _lot_ worse,” Baekhee agreed, flopping down onto the couch and trying to will the excess anxiousness out of her body.

“Unnie didn’t scare you out of wanting to do this?” Jungah asked, settled in next to Baekhee and grabbing her wrist so she could play with her fingers.

“No, did she scare you?” Baekhee asked, gut clenching even though Jungah’s affectionate touches didn’t imply that she was wanting an out.

“Well, _she_ scares me,” Jungah admitted with a chuckle, “but she didn’t make me not want to be with you.”

Baekhee smiled, shooting a quick glance toward the kitchen door before pecking Jungah on the lips. 

“Thanks for standing up for me, by the way,” she added, nudging Jungah in the side playfully.

Jungah blushed, looking down. “Well, it wasn’t like you initiated it. If I hadn’t...you wouldn’t have…”

“Well, if _I_ hadn’t, you wouldn’t have either,” Baekhee teased. 

Giggling, Jungah buried her face in Baekhee’s neck, her breath against the sensitive skin making her shiver. 

“Sorry,” Jungah said, pulling back when she realized what she’d done.

“You are not,” Baekhee huffed, feeling the flush of arousal on her cheeks from just that little stimulation.

“I am!” Jungah insisted, laughing at Baekhee’s put out look. 

“We’ll see about that,” Baekhee promised, casually letting a hand slip across Jungah’s thigh to tease her fingers against the bare flesh where her shorts had ridden up before she moved away and plopped her feet in Jungah’s lap with a satisfied grin.

Jungah pouted at her, wiggling her legs to jostle Baekhee’s feet.

“I hope Kyungsoon stays with a friend again soon,” Jungah said, still huffy about Baekhee’s revenge, though the heaviness of her gaze gave her away.

Baekhee smirked, feeling herself pulse at just the idea of giving Jungah what she wanted. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

 

\---

 

Baekhee couldn’t help but bop and sway along to the song that was being performed onstage as she waited in the wings. The girls performing, rookies, were doing a good job, though Baekhee could see the wide eyed excitement on their faces that came with having just debuted. It was an extremely exciting, yet terrifying time. She wouldn’t trade it, but Baekhee was glad to be where she was- more established and definitely more comfortable in the spotlight. 

A warm body against her back and arms draping over her shoulders had Baekhee grinning automatically, moving more so Jungah would sway with her.

Jungah hummed along to the song in her ear, taking over the swaying motion and moving her arms to Baekhee’s waist to keep them in sync.

It was almost like they were slow dancing together, Baekhee thought, smiling and feeling her heart flutter. 

Little moments like this, that could be easily passed off as normal skinship between friends, made having to hide their relationship tolerable. Not being able to tell the members who didn’t know definitely sucked the most, but Baekhee comforted herself with the assurance that one day they would be able to. 

Chanyeon remained supportive, and Junhee was surprisingly understanding about them always trying to room together when they went overseas. She didn’t allow it every time, but more often than not, she indulged them. Once the initial shock and panic wore off, she might have even thought they were a little sweet. Though she avoided saying as much because she probably didn’t want to endorse risky behavior. 

Sometimes it really was tough, getting frustrated because they couldn’t just behave like a normal couple. But since they were both in the same position, they were able to find understanding in one another and push through those weeks where it seemed like they’d barely even had time to make eye contact.

But the hard times were made up for when it had been an exhausting day and they got to curl up together on the couch, gaining comfort from each other’s presence and sneaking around the corner by the bathroom to share a goodnight kiss out of sight.

“I like this song,” Jungah murmured in her ear, still moving Baekhee’s body to the beat of the music.

Baekhee hummed in agreement, lifting Jungah’s arm up to press a light kiss to her wrist. 

As Jungah made a show of huffing and wiping the gloss that she’d left in her wake, Baekhee turned her head to shoot Jungah a grin. Jungah was smiling too.

Initially, Baekhee might have said that Jungah was the member she was least close to. In retrospect, that might not have even really been true. Now, though, Jungah knew her better than any of the members. Better than Chanyeon, even. 

Baekhee caught Jungah’s eye as they prepared to go onstage to perform, and that single look said more than words ever could.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Mamamoo's song of the same name.
> 
> Thank you to Ash for being my cheerleader! And Jen for looking this over for me <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://g-odalisque13.tumblr.com) if you are so inclined.


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